'Vegetable Incident'

When I first started preschool, there was a colouring contest, and we were supposed to colour in vegetables. And I got ALL the colours wrong. Everything. Even with my parents outside the window trying to 'play' charades with me on regards of the colours. I got them wrong. Yes, I was born an idiot. I still remember looking at everyone's artwork and feeling very small. Because I knew I was wrong. How in the world did I not know which colour to use?

There are so many incidents like that, that I remember which still kinds stings when I think about it.Since small, I have been taught to be independent, to take care of myself and to never depend on anybody to get my work done. With two adults in the house who are forever angry and bickering, it was easy for a small child to get lost in all of it.

But I have to thank God for all that. If it hadnt been for that 'vegetable incident' or the countless other 'incidents', I would never have pushed myself harder. I am a Biomedical student in her second year and improving every semester. I am course representative for my year and so far, I havent had any complains =P. My english is near impeccable and boy do I know how to use it. I read like a glutton and I can hold an adult conversation with ease. Politics, Philosophy, Theology, Science, plan rubbish talk, fashion, art, anything. You name it.I am a very confident person, I can talk to anybody and make them feel like they have known me for years. I'm very independent and resourceful and I am very determined. And I am very proud of who I am, what I have become and the potentials I have.

But I think a lot of it has God playing a big part in them. Sometimes I dont think it is me being that person, it's God who is giving me those traits.He was there all along. In my very challenging home, in my very depressing school life, the bullies, the ones who called me names, the lack of support. I blamed Him for not 'mollycuddling' me and I blamed my parents for not defending me. But one day I was watching my cousin and her mum interact and I realised, what her mum did was what I wanted from my parents, but if it had turned out that way, I could never have become what I am right now.

And today, I walk alone. I am alone in uni, I do my own thing. I cant believe I have survived the whole semester without anyone to hang out or be friends with. But I'm walking in a different tune, in a different sort of confidence. God confidence, not self confidence. It has taken me so many years to learn that, and a big upheaval in my life too. Again, God used the pain and hurt so I could gain something so much more important.

I may look like I have very little going on for me, but my heart feels full. I see plans, and potential and challenges and adventures. I really wouldnt change a thing. And if it takes a little more struggle to get there, I couldnt be happier.