Usually when I write posts, I have some song in the background. It gets me to focus on what I have in mind, to write. Right now I'm listening to 'Live with me' by Massive Attack.
I am as strong as I am weak. I push people away from my life because I dont think they can handle how messed up I really am. I'm also scared that if I find the person who is willing to love me and take care of me no matter what, and by that I mean absolutely no matter what, I'll relapse into myself, and break down completely. My self harm, my suicidal ideation, my restriction/starvation-binge cycles, my depression.
I'm grateful for the person in my life now, but him not being able to accept some things actually give me strength to not breakdown and give up.
And I trust God to get me out of this. He is going to make everything ok someday. He will. I'm sure.
I am as strong as I am weak. I push people away from my life because I dont think they can handle how messed up I really am. I'm also scared that if I find the person who is willing to love me and take care of me no matter what, and by that I mean absolutely no matter what, I'll relapse into myself, and break down completely. My self harm, my suicidal ideation, my restriction/starvation-binge cycles, my depression.
I'm grateful for the person in my life now, but him not being able to accept some things actually give me strength to not breakdown and give up.
And I trust God to get me out of this. He is going to make everything ok someday. He will. I'm sure.
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