I recently changed one of my Digi Easy Prepaid numbers to my boyfie's number so I can call him for free all the time. But seriously, it doesnt help much coz he isnt really the type to hang on the phone and talk sweet nothings. Even when I'm with him, he doesnt give me attention all day. Dating an older guy comes with a prize I suppose. Not that he ignores me. I get 5 star treatment around him. My breakfast is made, lunch is made, dinner is made. Even when he watches football, he gives me attention. Always checks up on me. He is really lovely.
But I really like talking to him because somehow I feel like I am connecting to someone. I havent felt connected in a while, although I have new friends now and they are great :)
And I'm going through a rough time with the parental unit. I have been trying to get my parents to reconcile with one another for the past few months. I have been doing everything they want me to, budgeting etc. Honestly I dont remember the last time I texted my dad saying "NO MONEY!!" I always have some left when he banks in more. But I have an aunt who was quite apparently spawned in the underworld because she is ALWAYS trying to get my mum and dad to separate and she has been doing it since mum and dad got married.
So yesterday, aunt sent me a text about how ungrateful I am, and how me and my dad are the same, and by that meaning, using my mum to achieve what we want and how my dad is 'hardcore' blablabla. I dont get this whole 'child using parents to achieve greatness' theme my parents and my aunty uses on me to hurt me. What kind of child would use their parents to achieve greatness? Isnt that like a, default thing? So, I sent her back texts, and actually I have to admit... horrible texts because seriously nobody is in a good mood when they wake up to rubbish like that. She(smart woman) used it to instigate my mum to hate me, and I told my dad what aunty said about him and that I seriously cannot have a sem break with such negative presence there. to which dad replied, no more money for you(apparently money is comfort for me. Food and other things fall from the sky)
Thank God I saved up.
I feel like its my duty to fix my parents up and its all my fault they are so unhappy and I'm scared my parents will die in a very unhappy state, but honestly I dont see where I am the problem. Yes, I do need money for uni and its not like I'm blowing all the cash on rubbish. The little I get goes for food and toiletries and the occasional hair cut. And paper.
I feel very unhappy about this. I'm not going home for Christmas. When I had to make a choice I couldnt choose them. Because as we all know, my mental health isnt really stable( I cut, a lot.. or used to. ) and being in an environment where your mother whom you see as god basically calls you sysophrenic(Schizophrenic) and your dad says you are a waste of space, isnt a very conducive environment. I rather go to the place where I am missed and where I have my own space even when its not my home.
I'm very unhappy. But I said I trust God. So I just have to survive today, and let tomorrow worry about itself. and fingers crossed maybe someday the parental units will finally realise I wasnt so bad to be around afterall.
But I really like talking to him because somehow I feel like I am connecting to someone. I havent felt connected in a while, although I have new friends now and they are great :)
And I'm going through a rough time with the parental unit. I have been trying to get my parents to reconcile with one another for the past few months. I have been doing everything they want me to, budgeting etc. Honestly I dont remember the last time I texted my dad saying "NO MONEY!!" I always have some left when he banks in more. But I have an aunt who was quite apparently spawned in the underworld because she is ALWAYS trying to get my mum and dad to separate and she has been doing it since mum and dad got married.
So yesterday, aunt sent me a text about how ungrateful I am, and how me and my dad are the same, and by that meaning, using my mum to achieve what we want and how my dad is 'hardcore' blablabla. I dont get this whole 'child using parents to achieve greatness' theme my parents and my aunty uses on me to hurt me. What kind of child would use their parents to achieve greatness? Isnt that like a, default thing? So, I sent her back texts, and actually I have to admit... horrible texts because seriously nobody is in a good mood when they wake up to rubbish like that. She(smart woman) used it to instigate my mum to hate me, and I told my dad what aunty said about him and that I seriously cannot have a sem break with such negative presence there. to which dad replied, no more money for you(apparently money is comfort for me. Food and other things fall from the sky)
Thank God I saved up.
I feel like its my duty to fix my parents up and its all my fault they are so unhappy and I'm scared my parents will die in a very unhappy state, but honestly I dont see where I am the problem. Yes, I do need money for uni and its not like I'm blowing all the cash on rubbish. The little I get goes for food and toiletries and the occasional hair cut. And paper.
I feel very unhappy about this. I'm not going home for Christmas. When I had to make a choice I couldnt choose them. Because as we all know, my mental health isnt really stable( I cut, a lot.. or used to. ) and being in an environment where your mother whom you see as god basically calls you sysophrenic(Schizophrenic) and your dad says you are a waste of space, isnt a very conducive environment. I rather go to the place where I am missed and where I have my own space even when its not my home.
I'm very unhappy. But I said I trust God. So I just have to survive today, and let tomorrow worry about itself. and fingers crossed maybe someday the parental units will finally realise I wasnt so bad to be around afterall.
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