I hate semester break

End of Day 3 of my stupid semester break.I would be the happiest person if uni resumes this Monday.It is stressful, and takes up all my time, but it is still something to do. I just hate sitting in the house and looking at my computer. Yes, there are so many things to do online but I'm bored of everything. Nilai is not going to be much different, with him 'working' and what not. 


I dont think I'm cut out for a relationship. I dont like being mollycuddled. And with my dysfunctional family and all, I'm just not a relationship type of person. And at the moment I'm completely obsessed with loving someone else, someone who made me and loved me from the start. And also this stupid diet I'm working on. I never knew I could mean this much to another human being, and frankly, its sorta scary. People always leave. That's how it should be. And then this person comes and sees my worst side and still decides to stick on with me... its scary. I'm not saying I dont love him, I'm just saying I'm not cut out for this. I've planned my whole life alone. And yes, for a moment there were thoughts about wedding dresses and moon babies and everything, but it didnt stick. I'm back to my 'one man army' thoughts. This is so annoying. 


Why cant I be simple like some people....