Butterfly Project

I was reading through LGMH when I saw a post about the Butterfly Project. So I googled it. And what'd ya know, it was something for me. 


The Butterfly Project has been created for self-harmers who feel they are ready to stop and need the motivation or support to do so. A member’s hypnotherapist, who found this idea on an online blog and felt that it was a good idea that should be promoted as a distraction, has recommended it.

The idea is simple. The self-harmer simply draws a butterfly on their place(s) of self-harm and, if the butterfly fades without them self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving them a sense of achievement. Whereas if they do self-harm with the butterfly there; they will have to wash it off. If that does happen, they can start again by drawing a new one on. 
(Source)


I am a self harmer, or a recovering one, and the last time I cut was 21st March 2011. I stopped, for a friend, because for once, the friendship was more important to me than my obsession. 


But it doesnt mean the thoughts dont slip in and out of my mind. I still have the yearning to do so, and mostly I curb it by thinking about my boyfriend, and how upset he will be when he sees fresh marks. 


This is a very nice way of curbing those demons. (But I dont like butterflies very much, you see)


Simple rules: 
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand. 
2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.
4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you’ve killed it. If you dont cut, it lives.
5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.
6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.
7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.

(Source)

I always write TWLOHA on my arms when I get terribly upset and I want to self harm myself. 

TWLOHA means "To write love on her arms" You can check it out here. 

At the end of the day, I see my scar filled arms and legs and I wonder, was it all worth it? I still dont have the answer to that question, but every scar was a battle between me and my demons. Every scar meant, I lived through it and I am still alive. 

And so are you <3

xoxo