Body Image

People mock me. My friends are very forgiving, and they are amazing, but people outside do mock me. Like when I go to Ghany, there is an old man who is sort of my friend, he mocks me. Yesterday I met an old friend, he mocked me. People just like doing that. I want to know why it's ok to say derogatory things to people who have weight issues. 99.99999% of the time, I accept the mockery, making jokes with them, going with the principle "Others are laughing with you, not at you". But it always hurts. I always go home feeling like a complete useless tool, no matter how much I have accomplished the day. Most days, I contemplate the idea of going back to my old self, the bulimia, and the self starvation. Just so I will be accepted like I should. Sometimes I feel, I dont get the opportunities I deserve because how I look. I'm a person too. I dont know.. I just feel, angry? Abandoned? But it's not all bad. Being the overweight, misfit has given me a thick skin. My confidence actually soared because of that thick skin. even now I hold my head up high when I walk because I know I am wonderfully made. And when I go home back to my boyfriend, he makes me feel like the hottest girl alive. And it's not just him, it's his friends too. But when I'm here.. or even anywhere else... it's sorta sad.

What gives people the right to judge someone based on anything they are? I am just... curious.

Just because someone doesn’t fit your ideal of beautiful doesn’t mean they aren’t beautiful. I’m a loving, caring, devoted person. I’m deeply emotional, highly imaginative, and I matter. I am a person, even if I’m overweight. I’m beautiful, even if I have fat rolls. I am more than my weight.
I am me.