My great semester

Hey :)

It's been a month since I posted anything at all. Sorry. I have been awfully busy with finals. I immediately came home after that, but there's something about my home that makes me not want to turn my computer on. And then I attended a Symposium. It was awesome. I shall elaborate later. And after that, waiting for results and lazing around. I have so much in my head I wanna say so lemme break it down. Okies?

1) FINALS

My finals week preparations

Finals was painful for me actually. I had midterms and assignments to hand in right up to the last day of semester, I didn't have enough time to fully prepare. My first paper was Genetics, and I only had like a few days to study. After that was a race to study Endocrinology and Molecular Biology together!! Honestly, I still don't know how I managed it. My last paper was Protein and Proteomics, and I had an English paper before that. I must say, Proteins was my worst paper. But overall, throughout Finals week I was doped on coffee, Milo and loads of delivered food :D

All my medication

I also got very sick after my Genetics paper. I was coughing a lot continuously, i had been coughing up specks on blood, I had chest pain and on and off fever, my bones were aching and my body was very sore, and I had night sweats. So, the day after my Genetics paper I went to the Clinic with my friends and got my first x-ray done, for a PTB test, to see if I had tuberculosis. All clear though. I got tonnes of medication but they never gave me a diagnosis and actually, up to today, I still have some of the symptoms like chest pain, continuous coughing and bone aches. I honestly don't know what's ailing me but I hope it's nothing serious. I was basically sick throughout the semester and Finals week. It was kinda pressuring to push my body that hard. But I made it :)


2) RESULTS!
It came out yesterday. And I knew I passed all my papers, I just didn't know my grades until yesterday. For the first time since I joined UTAR, it felt great to see my results. I managed to get a GPA above 3.0, which I have never done before. Well, I have but it was in the short semester so it doesn't count haha. I really think I outdid myself this semester. Usually its a C for me in any Science subject I take but I managed to get a good score on all my science papers and an A for my English :) I keep opening my portal just to see my results. I have never been this proud of myself.

3)SYMPOSIUM
So, University Malaya held the 3rd Malaysian Symposium for Biomedical Sciences on the 19th and 20th of May and I went there. I went there by myself, but I stayed for 2 nights with my fellow course mates and seniors. Honestly, my first impression of UM was bad. The accommodation provided was horrendous and we had no means of transportation in and out of UM. So, it was kind of bad. And oh, communal toilets!! AWFUL!! But the programme itself was fantastic and I learned a lot being there. Also making new friends from other universities and also gaining new insight on my to be profession, it was all so wonderful. The one noticeable thing at the symposium was not the programmes, but the breaks. Oh god we had so many breaks and food served!! Malaysian culture I suppose? But I got very tired of eating. LOL. At the symposium, I learned how to present my future Final Year Project. Like, I have never been really exposed to these kind of things so it was a really good experience. I also learned how to be meticulous in my work and my future research. Another stupid thing happened there though. My right eye was inflamed or something. It turned blood red and became horribly painful the 3 days I was there. At one point I was walking around UM with just one contacts on. Amazingly, the inflammation subsided once I came home. Which was stupid.

After the symposium on Sunday, we all reached KL sentral and I waited for my course mates to board their train before I left for home. We reached around 6pm and the train was at 9pm, so I waited till 9pm until everyone went home.

UTAR at MYSYMBIOS UM

4)NEXT SEMESTER
Next semester, I will be a Final Year Student. I can't believe it is finally happening. I am so excited!! I am taking 6 subjects again and I really think I can handle it :)


Overall, my life is great. It's just that, I have been feeling a little uneasy for a while mostly because I haven't gone to church, and also, I think my stupid mind is more focused on how much more I have to go rather than see how much I have already accomplished. I'm also a little edgy because boyfie is going through a bad mood period and I can feel his aura, which I react to. But overall, I can say my life is good. Boyfie made two statements since I came here, (1) I have no friends, and (2) I don't do much but study. Well, at first I was upset because he was right, I had no close friends. There are a lot of important people to me back in Kampar but the ones I was closest to are gone (thank God and praise God for that). But honestly, when I think about it, I am happy being by myself. I work harder and better when I am alone and honestly I don't really like depending on anyone anymore. It's just more, productive being alone. And as for not really having a life, haha, well, I have to agree. I have been on full drive mode with my studies this semester. I think I'll branch out a bit and do more social things for the coming semester. It will be good :)

I don't know what to write anymore. I think I have written everything that happened last semester in a nutshell. Something like that. I do hope to blog more.

xoxo

Weekend trauma

This whole week has been so stressful! After a whole week of running around with barely any rest or time to just shut up and watch a movie quietly, I found myself asking a friend to run me of the emergency ward Friday night. My right side had been hurting the whole day but it got extremely bad at night and I couldnt sit,stand, lie down... anything! I was crouching like Gollum from LOTR until even that was unbearable so I checked myself in to the hospital. Thankfully, after 2 shots of really strong painkillers and some to take orally, the pain was quite bearable and they let me go home. Although I am a little pissed because they couldnt be bothered to do an x ray or something, I understand I suppose. With free medical healthcare like that, they have to do anything to save on resources(as in treat the symptoms and let go)... But what was more painful was that my parents couldnt be bothered to care. I told my parents and got nothing in response. I think I have completely lost them.

Today I went to Tesco. And I passed by the children's clothing section, and found myself mooning at all the uber cute baby clothes. I know!!! I'm too young for this nonsense, but honestly, I feel like I was made to be a mummy. Everything my mum did to me, taught me how not to be a parent. And, yea maybe I wont be the perfect mum, but my children will have the best they can get from me. I'm already so in love with my unborn children. So much in love. I'm not so sure about marriage though. If bie is the right person, so be it. Although I have to give it to him, anyone who has children with that man would be the luckiest person ever. I just hope I'm someday brave enough to want to get married and have babies.

But for now, I'm focusing on my own future, my education. So I can get a good job, and a good life, and give myself and my kids a good start in life. 

Butterflies in my tummy

Over the past couple months, I have dealt with loss. I lost my friends. Some of them, I thought were friends. And I lost two very important people in my life. The whole thing has been a big upheaval for me because I was already so comfortable and feeling secure. The past couple months have been quite rough.

But let me tell about about the one good thing that has happened to me, and is probably the biggest and greatest joy I have had in a long time, besides God that is.

I want to tell you a million things about him. About his heart, his story, his character, the things he does for me, how he keeps me grounded, how he keeps me pushing myself for a better future, how instead of making me stay in the clouds he pulls me down to earth and how he teaches me, how he never lets my sight of God, how he is one of the reason I've taken my bible out again. I wish I could tell you the sweet things he does for me, and how I will never forget the first day I met him, and how amazing my 3 weeks was. I wish I could tell you everything about him. And I wish I could tell you the million things in my head that I hold on to, a future of us, the white wedding dress, and the garden wedding I dream of sometimes, our house together. How he has pulled my expectations about this life so high up, that I can do better, be a better person, the best version of me. I wish I could tell you, how hard headed he is, just like me and how he always calls me stubborn but still loves me anyways. How he always advices and nags me, and how sometimes he holds me close and taps my back softly comforting me (or shutting me up). I wish I could tell you everything, but like what he always tell me, everything has its time, its season. And now is not the right time to tell you everything. Someday I will.

But I can tell you this...
I'm in love. Irrevocably. Im contented. 


"Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."

Meredith Grey

Grey's Anatomy,Season 5 Ep 24

"Now or Never"

I love you. I dont ever want to live without you. 

You changed my life.