Tests

Friday 24 February 2012

Today, I had a test. For Endocrinology. From 8-9.15pm, when the uni is closed. This semester is interesting. I had a test at 7am, and now 8pm. 


Anyway, I've been studying so dilligently for this test. Making notes, reading the book, and today I spent 6hours in the library just studying. And I did  the test quite confidently. But when I came out of the room, I heard that the lecturer had already started to mark the papers and someone got 96%. Seriously, my heart just sank. Every confidence I had, every happy thoughts I had just went away. I actually was, jealous, and frustrated. Because I know no matter how well I did the test I wouldnt get those marks. Came home and cried. So since then, I've been moping around and wondering where I went wrong. This semester, I have been studious, I have let go of all my bad habits. I dont party, I dont drink, I dont hang out at an ungodly time. I dont skip classes for fun, I utilize my breaks efficiently by running of to the library. I have been working hard. But I need to work harder if I want to get those results that person got, and I just dont know how to do it. 


A friend told me, "Our perseverance and attitude means something to Him"


And yes, I guess I forgot about that. I wanted to be an ace student so badly, and I wanted it all for myself. I forgot about what God thinks of it, and how he feels about me. I hope, He is pleased that I put in effort and everything that I am doing, my behaviour, my attitude... means something to Him. Boyfie also told me that marks and grades do not measure intelligence. I guess, I just wanted to get high marks so the lecturer would take notice of me and like me. God knows I've been trying. 
But I suppose at the end of the day, what God thinks of me is more important than what anyone else does. 

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