Butterflies in my tummy

Wednesday 26 October 2011

Over the past couple months, I have dealt with loss. I lost my friends. Some of them, I thought were friends. And I lost two very important people in my life. The whole thing has been a big upheaval for me because I was already so comfortable and feeling secure. The past couple months have been quite rough.

But let me tell about about the one good thing that has happened to me, and is probably the biggest and greatest joy I have had in a long time, besides God that is.

I want to tell you a million things about him. About his heart, his story, his character, the things he does for me, how he keeps me grounded, how he keeps me pushing myself for a better future, how instead of making me stay in the clouds he pulls me down to earth and how he teaches me, how he never lets my sight of God, how he is one of the reason I've taken my bible out again. I wish I could tell you the sweet things he does for me, and how I will never forget the first day I met him, and how amazing my 3 weeks was. I wish I could tell you everything about him. And I wish I could tell you the million things in my head that I hold on to, a future of us, the white wedding dress, and the garden wedding I dream of sometimes, our house together. How he has pulled my expectations about this life so high up, that I can do better, be a better person, the best version of me. I wish I could tell you, how hard headed he is, just like me and how he always calls me stubborn but still loves me anyways. How he always advices and nags me, and how sometimes he holds me close and taps my back softly comforting me (or shutting me up). I wish I could tell you everything, but like what he always tell me, everything has its time, its season. And now is not the right time to tell you everything. Someday I will.

But I can tell you this...
I'm in love. Irrevocably. Im contented. 


"Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."
Meredith Grey
Grey's Anatomy,Season 5 Ep 24
"Now or Never"
I love you. I dont ever want to live without you. 
You changed my life.

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