Reminiscing

Sunday 2 September 2012

Couldn't sleep. So, I cleaned out my gmail. Found some old love letters from my ex I forwarded to my gmail from my old hotmail account.

It's been so long. I can barely remember him. I can barely remember me. Psychotic and damaged I should say. I'm so different now. I'm actually happy. I'm happy with my studies (yay final year!!), I'm happy with my boyfriend. I'm happy with my parents, although they can still be a pain. I've just learned to ignore them :)

Wow.. I cannot believe I've been with Austin for more than a year now. 14th July was our first anniversary. 23rd Sept is another day to be remembered :D They all said we wouldnt last. But we have grown stronger, and more in love and even more connected. And you know, before... when I was stupid and 'in love', I fell for the sweet words and the daily phone calls and gifts and crap. I didnt see the man I was with. I didnt 'see' him. But with Austin, it's different. He is a man's man. I dont get the sweet talk and gifts and the messages and full on texting. But when he calls, he means it. When there are sweet words, it is truthful and honest. No lies. No trying to seduce me. What he gives, is all of himself. He changed me in a way, he made me me. Only after he came into my life did I actually start focusing in my studies, actually focusing on my future. He didn't turn me into a love forlorn fantasy child. He turned me into a logical, practical, future driven young woman. He.. found me.

I'm happy. I'm contented. I remember an email I sent to my ex, saying that he's got the life he wants and I dont. It finally happened. I have the exact life I wanted. I wouldnt change a thing.

I miss my bie. I cant wait to see him after my finals!!!

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